gonanatop:

stereofeathers:

What I expected moving to texas: oh hm, cowboy boot… steak..,? the ole’ prairie. youve been invited to,come lasso a tumbleweed,! ‘howdy there sherriff’ as a tramp stamp tattoo. Sweet teA hp potion… country girls make do

What I got when I moved to texas: i cant really leave the house bc theres about 20-30 of these big blue crabs that came up from their underground tunnels bc of the wet and rainy weather all standing on the patio having a fucking clawnference meeting

Texas:*spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spa

now you fucked up