God SAME.

It even goes beyond that, like if I ever eat a raw vegetable for my own health I always get shit like “yeah but the dressing is super bad for you so you canceled it out by eating ranch with it” or “carrots have tons of carbs they’re basically sugar”

And I’m just like for real? I can’t have a baby carrot with ranch? I can’t have some fucking grapes? If the only truly “”“pure”“” food I can eat is raw celery and a daily multivitamin I’d quite honestly and truly rather just be dead.

Just because something has a lot of calories or sugar doesn’t mean it’s bad for you. Veggies and fruits have a ton of vitamins and minerals and fiber and you NEED calories for like…your body to work. So who cares if you smother them in ranch. Just don’t dip a clementine in ranch

I’m gonna dip a clementine in ranch.

Why do you hate Jesus

Jesus is my homeboy but God has a lot to answer for and my rebellion will continue until he does so.

^That’s a raw ass fucking quote

That’s going to end up being one of those quotes that are completely stripped of their context and passed around as the rawest, most profound thing and when someone finds out it’s about dipping clementines in Ranch dressing and freaks out, I hope you’ll be proud of yourself

I know I would be

👍