So, trying out a new pet-name, I decided to call my wife “Vanilla Bean”– just giving it a go because vanilla is my favorite flavor and beans are cute and she’s my favorite and also cute. 

Now, apparently “Vanilla” is plain and boring and baby did not appreciate being called plain and boring, and so here is a list of the pet names she’s given me in last few minutes:

- My saltine cracker

- The concept of Kansas

- My dearest manila folder

- That beige color they paint offices

- Bleached white rice

- You blank word document, you

- My perfect suburbs Republican

- Tap water