insomniac-arrest:

riotlion:

insomniac-arrest:

back when I was around five years old I ended up jumping out of a moving car on the highway (a road my dad still points out to us every time we pass it), this had many factors to it such as:

• my family did not believe in seat belts or child safety locks
• I was obsessed with cheetahs at the time and thought that if I jumped out and landed on my feet I could run alongside the car like some sort of superhuman tiny cat-human-mutant
• it did not work out like this
• the most unbelievable part of this story was that I jumped out and then ROLLED across the rest of the highway and under a truck
• luckily, I was really tiny and went right underneath the body and between the wheels
• God really does protect fools and babies apparently- which I was both
• a mom in a red mini-van was the first to stop and come out to get me and was like ‘IS THIS SOMEONE’S KID?? WHY IS THIS SOMEONES CHILD.’ I still remember you mom in a red mini-van, you were a real one
• I was surprisingly fine outside of a few scrapes and a bad headache. Despite the headache tho my family did not take me to the hospital
• they took me to get taco bell instead

I just like, need some reassurance OP’s parents got better at parenting

they did not, but thank you for your concern lol, it if makes you feel better it was a really freaking great Crunch Wrap Supreme