turing-tested:

turing-tested:

there’s a lot of reasons why dirk is considered a villian (though I consider antagonist a better term) but i feel that one of them according to his own words is that he wants to be stopped, and that he knows when someone kills him, it’ll be just. i could get into it but dirk strider is a dude who creates problems for himself and needs control, especially over his own arc, and if other people’s arcs play a factor in it then so be it I suppose

if you REALLY want to understand dirk I would suggest reading the now canonized version of detective pony up on AO3 or listening to the audio books on youtube! it’s extremely good and there’s some bits in there where dirk unabashedly psychoanalyzes himself through the lens of a fictional character with some very good quotes, I’ll reblog with some specific examples

the following quotes are either dirk addressing himself in second person or directly:

• But here’s the best part. That self-centeredness? It’s compounded with self-loathing. So the more I talk about myself, the more I feel guilty, and that gets me off, which means I need to talk about it more, just to prove how fucking selfish I am, which gives me further reason to hate myself, and so on. Ad infinitum. Ad nauseam. I make myself sick with it, sick of it. I’m sick.
• Do people want to read that? Doesn’t matter, I want to say it, because I think it’s clever, and everyone else needs to see how clever I am, so it’s goin’ in.

and finally:

You know what would be really cathartic?…If you dropped all the meta-bullshit and masturbatory word games. If you stopped hiding behind them. If you could just make one sincere effort at reaching out to the other human being reading this. Without using quotation marks or a ‘Dirk said’ to separate yourself from this character. If you could be honest and straightforward and candid for once in your damn life and just communicate.”

…

…

I…

“I can’t,” Dirk said.