swoodthis:

silver-tongues-blog:

that youre the king of a desert people and just aided the king of a foreign land win a civil war. you just made an alliance and your desert now flies its banner alongside the lush vibrant kingdom you just befriended. They can provide aid to your people who are struggling to survive. The neighbor kings daughter doesnt trust you because she had some nightmares but shes a kid. THEN some kid who smells like hes never washed in the 12 years hes lived and is wearing ratty clothes and has spiders in his hair, I mean he looks like he lived his life feral in the forest and only just walked out. he claims to be a kid from the future and that you take over the world. Whatever. Just another kid parroting what his parents probably told him about your desert people and letting his imagination run wild. except suddenly hes got some ancient artifact that the king you just made an alliance with has sworn to protect. This kid comes in with a stolen artifact and claims that youre the one who wanted to take it. And the king is like treatys over. Then you gotta fight a 12 year long war with them because the king would rather believe some kid than the person who fought alongside him during the civil war. and the worst part is that the king makes this feral child a knight. the fuck is up with that?

And the worst part is… it’s only the beginning.

Because after this, your people are slaughtered like animals, you’re tortured horrifically, get impaled, have a near-death experience where Satan himself tries to turn you into a giant pig demon, and get yote into a hostile alien dimension.

For centuries. You fight and fight, but are eventually broken into nothing more than a spirit. And then turns out the literal only person that can help you get back to a dimension that wasn’t harmful to you is an absolute sociopath that thinks you’re Jesus. The only way to get the slightest alleviation of your centuries of nonstop suffering is to help the actual worst person in the alien dimension be horrible in your world too.

And then, as you’re busy being horrified by how fucked up your “partner” is… a SECOND feral child shows up.

SOMEBODY HELP GANONDORF THE DUDE NEVER ASKED TO BE TURNED INTO THE ANTICHRIST SOMEONE GIVE THIS MAN A FUCKING HUG HOLY SHIT