questbedhead:

one of my long running headcannons for Stolen Century is that whenever the crew misplaces Taako he kinda just… invents a new persona for the cycle. And it makes him nigh impossible to find again.

I mean, sometimes, he just opens a restaurant, or starts a weird cult of personality, and those times they can probably track him down. But the rest of the time he ends up in completely random situations/identities, such as;

Fisherman: The found him after a handful of the crew had gone overboard during a storm. Taako and a crew of Alien fishers scooped them out of the water. The aliens that Taako’s name was Diego. He kept talking about the sea like he didn’t refuse to go near the water for six months in cycle 56 because he say a weird, translucent eel in the shallows. He’s wearing bedazzled rubber boots. 

Auctioneer: which wouldn’t be too weird if it was just a hussle, but. He seems serious? This is a charity auction? Someone hired him, Taako, to do this. No one knew he could talk fast like that  (he’s cheating with a haste spell).

Actual, Literal Doctor: Apparently Taako got admitted to a hospitable and somehow ended up taking over by sheer force of personality. He keeps walking around with a limp and diagnosing people with incredibly rare diseases. He has done so many medical crimes, but somehow he keeps being right. 

Truck Driver: Taako has always been the worst driver and yet someone gave him a 80k vehicle that he’s not even proficient in. It is absolutely full of candy wrappers and take out. He’s wearing overalls and he keeps saying “over” and “copy” even when he’s talking to the crew face to face. His Trucker Name is Ed.

Judge: The crew didn’t find him until they got into hot water with the local law enforcement and had to go through a hearing. Taako walked into the court room and everyone lost their goddamned minds. He pronounced them guilty on the spot. 

HR management: What are you doing at a desk job, Taako? Why aren’t you focusing on our world saving mission, Taako? The new hires aren’t going to make it past probation if we don’t find the Light, Taako. What do you mean we need to sign a form in triplicate? Did you design this form, specifically for this situation? Why does this look good? Your resume was one page of purple comic sans covered in scratch ‘n sniff stickers and cheeto dust. You’re making the Captain cry, Taako.