nakmorkesh:

today my players:

- got pickpocketed by a 12 year old child

- our wizard decided the best way to stop him was to cast magic missile at the child

- child almost died 

- wizard got arrested and then bailed out

- players went to a casino to find the thieves guild but the wizard drank fantasy moonshine and passed out 5 minutes in so they couldnt

- next day, its 8:45am and they didnt want to go in too early so they found other things to do during the day

- i had 1 thing planned - a fighting arena - but improved 2 shitty things (a market and a rock museum) so theyd chose the arena

- no

- no

- my players chose the rock museum

- they go to the rock museum that only has five rocks and is run by a goliath man

- he asks if they want the guided tour of these 5 rocks - the fighter says yes and pays 2 copper pieces

- guided tour (that i had to make up on the spot)

- rock 1 - a greystone rock from the greystone area that i found when my brother pushed me off of a cliff at age 5

- rock 2 - a blackstone rock from the blackstone area that my brother gave to me to apologise

- rock 3 - a volcanic rock i found when i lost my leg looking for rocks in a volcano

- rock 4 - the rock i killed my brother with

- rock 5 - a pebble my boyfriend taught me how to skip rocks with - this is my fave rock

- wizard goes and finds a cool rock to give goliath and ends up vomiting over the pebble due to being hungover

- goliath doesnt realise and wizard lures him out of the building whilst fighter cleans up the vomit

- wizard and goliath have a touching heart to heart moment

- goliath says goodbye and takes the pebble with him into a sideroom

- as he leaves the fighter asks him what his name is

- goliath turns round dramatically

- my name,,is,,dwayne johnson