toastynoneofyourbusiness

Everyone always admires SCP for the horror. But NOBODY talks about how genuinely funny some of them are (and no, I’m not counting J’s):

  • The box that is entirely designed to piss off the nearest person in the vicinity in an extremely specific and personalized manner
  • The pills that were intended to give whoever swallowed them radiation poisoning, but instead make them explode with bananas
  • The roll of infinite toilet paper that abides by the laws of conservation of energy, thus causing nuclear explosions if too much or too little is used
  • The tub and water who each have their own respective personalities and constantly argue about communism vs. capitalism
  • The tomatoes that throw themselves at you at a speed relative to how terrible you joke is
  • A coffee machine with a keypad that dispenses (almost) any liquid
  • A guy that is constantly lost, can’t be tracked, and anyone who finds him gets lost with him
  • A statue who moves when you stop looking at it, but instead of snapping your neck, it just tries to startle you
  • Three words: The Nerfing Gun
  • A Wendy’s with a haunted bottomless freezer that sometimes plays Frank Sinatra
  • A bag of inifinite potatoes
  • I am a toaster