Alien: Would you like to watch this movie with me on TV?
Human: What’s it called.
Alien: Oldboy
Human: *Dives for remote to change the channel to protect innocent alien friend*
———————————————————————————————————-
Alien: I thought police were meant to diffuse conflict situations.
Human: They are, but that guy was a rapist so it’s okay to shoot them in the dick.
———————————————————————————————————–
Alien: This idea of a theme park for genetically recreated animals sounds like a wonderful idea.
Human: There’s about five movies that says otherwise.
———————————————————————————————————-
Alien: I do not understand why you would be afraid of a toy that came to life.
Human: It’s all fun and games until the toy pulls a knife and tries to stab you with it.
Alien: Could you not just, what’s the word, “punt” the toy once it got close?
Human: Thinking about it, you probably could.
———————————————————————————————————-
Alien: Run the plot by me one more time please.
Human: It’s a tornado.
Human: That’s full of sharks.
Alien: This is why the universe doesn’t take you seriously.
———————————————————————————————————-
Alien: And this one?
Human: The creature is part shark, and part octopus.
Alien: Why are you like this?
———————————————————————————————————-
Alien: Another one!?
Human: This one is about a ghost shark.
Alien: What is your obsession with sharks!?!?
———————————————————————————————————-
Alien: I swear to the gods if this one is another shark movie.
Human: Don’t worry, this one is about a human that gets turned into a monster.
Alien: That sounds interes-
Alien: *Watches the scene*
Alien: He’s getting turned into a gods damn shark!
Human: It’s a half man half hammerhead, it’s different.
———————————————————————————————————-
Alien: What chance do these soldiers have against the wolf men?
Human: Well, they’re all from the UK so they could probably kill them with the amount of different swears they can throw out.
Alien: And that works?
Human: Some people just get too scared to respond and leave so maybe?
———————————————————————————————————-
Alien: So you built a city over an area that could potentially develop a volcano?
Human: Yup.
Alien: WHY?!?!
Human: In our defense we didn’t know it would appear in Macarthur Park, we were hoping it would’ve just been Orange County.
———————————————————————————————————-
Alien: So he killed all those people because they stole his car?
Human: No.
Alien: No?
Human: He killed them because they killed his dog.
———————————————————————————————————-
Alien: So it is a dream, within a dream, within a dream? That makes no sense.
Human: Look, don’t over think it. Just look at the cool buildings flipping around.
———————————————————————————————————-
Alien: So your country turned an entire island into a prison and then sealed it off?
Human: Pretty smart right?
Alien: Then why would you have your president fly over it if there was even the slimmest chance they could crash and be stuck in it?
Human: I said the idea was smart, not the president.
———————————————————————————————————-
Alien: I do not like this human.
Alien: He goes into situations guns first even when fighting a sand monster.
Human: You shut your mouth! Brendan Fraser is a national treasure!
———————————————————————————————————-
Alien: Do you want to watch “The Thing” with me? I’ve yet to see it.
Human: That depends.
Alien: On what?
Human: If you’ve had lunch yet or not because I’d rather not be in the splash zone.
arnim liked this
0dd10ut liked this soapysoap69 liked this
loica-chilena liked this
ddbb19 liked this
whimsicalwitchm liked this
alinbabaaaa liked this earth-man-head liked this
comsman22 liked this
persephonedevoted liked this
dcmarvelfan22 liked this aviduslectori reblogged this from archivistofnerddom
aviduslectori liked this
toothpasteisrabiesfoam liked this
toothpasteisrabiesfoam reblogged this from archivistofnerddom
wacky-mind-workshop liked this
englandsgirl18181234 reblogged this from stabbyroomba
englandsgirl18181234 liked this
error404-drawnotfound liked this
vforvictoriaregina reblogged this from stabbyroomba
comixfansblog liked this
ede917 liked this
vforvictoriaregina liked this
0-nyze liked this ttsreina liked this
akingcalledkris liked this
soulsearcher33 reblogged this from soulsearcher33
mikami1992 liked this
elizabethevergreen liked this theimmortalcorpse liked this
chaos-squad6 liked this
ofchaosandlight liked this
aiwesquin reblogged this from niqhtlord01
rouge601 liked this peanutc47 liked this
jiggymcnibs liked this robocatfan reblogged this from niqhtlord01
robocatfan liked this
penguinotaku liked this
artemis572 liked this weirdo-hours liked this
kttata liked this aquastardark liked this
wolfsoulxiv liked this
rorryroo liked this
niqhtlord01 posted this
- Show more notes