niqhtlord01:

Alien: Would you like to watch this movie with me on TV?
Human: What’s it called.
Alien: Oldboy
Human: *Dives for remote to change the channel to protect innocent alien friend*
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 Alien: I thought police were meant to diffuse conflict situations.
Human: They are, but that guy was a rapist so it’s okay to shoot them in the dick.
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Alien: This idea of a theme park for genetically recreated animals sounds like a wonderful idea.
Human: There’s about five movies that says otherwise.
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Alien: I do not understand why you would be afraid of a toy that came to life.
Human: It’s all fun and games until the toy pulls a knife and tries to stab you with it. 
Alien: Could you not just, what’s the word, “punt” the toy once it got close?
Human: Thinking about it, you probably could. 
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Alien: Run the plot by me one more time please. 
Human: It’s a tornado.
Human: That’s full of sharks.
Alien: This is why the universe doesn’t take you seriously. 
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Alien: And this one?
Human: The creature is part shark, and part octopus. 
Alien: Why are you like this?
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Alien: Another one!?
Human: This one is about a ghost shark. 
Alien: What is your obsession with sharks!?!?
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Alien: I swear to the gods if this one is another shark movie. 
Human: Don’t worry, this one is about a human that gets turned into a monster. 
Alien: That sounds interes-
Alien: *Watches the scene*
Alien: He’s getting turned into a gods damn shark! 
Human: It’s a half man half hammerhead, it’s different. 
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Alien: What chance do these soldiers have against the wolf men?
Human: Well, they’re all from the UK so they could probably kill them with the amount of different swears they can throw out. 
Alien: And that works?
Human: Some people just get too scared to respond and leave so maybe? 
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Alien: So you built a city over an area that could potentially develop a volcano?
Human: Yup.
Alien: WHY?!?! 
Human: In our defense we didn’t know it would appear in Macarthur Park, we were hoping it would’ve just been Orange County.
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Alien: So he killed all those people because they stole his car?
Human: No.
Alien: No?
Human: He killed them because they killed his dog. 
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Alien: So it is a dream, within a dream, within a dream? That makes no sense.
Human: Look, don’t over think it. Just look at the cool buildings flipping around.
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Alien: So your country turned an entire island into a prison and then sealed it off?
Human: Pretty smart right?
Alien: Then why would you have your president fly over it if there was even the slimmest chance they could crash and be stuck in it?
Human: I said the idea was smart, not the president. 
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Alien: I do not like this human.
Alien: He goes into situations guns first even when fighting a sand monster.
Human: You shut your mouth! Brendan Fraser is a national treasure!
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Alien: Do you want to watch “The Thing” with me? I’ve yet to see it.
Human: That depends.
Alien: On what?
Human: If you’ve had lunch yet or not because I’d rather not be in the splash zone.