glumshoe:

fish-harlan:

glumshoe:

gone-chasing-the-wind:

glumshoe:

transparent-alias:

slinkanora:

ingridverse:

glumshoe:

hanlonrazor:

glumshoe:

cryoverkiltmilk:

glumshoe:

when I’m a baron OR a count OR a marquis I’m going to insist that my castle is only accessible via one long, narrow, twisting path that drops off into an abyss on either side

Hand rails?

NO. fuck you

Like this one?

No. That’s a rope bridge. They have their place, but not here.

This is what I’m talking about:

You’re gonna regret that when you buy furniture

Fun fact, most castles like this actually had a special pulley system for Pulling Furniture up into the castle. Furniture did not come up that disability inaccessible ramp, it came from the bottom of the cliff and was ascended into the heavens by a human powered crane.

what about wheelchairs and wheelchair users

the crane option doesn’t sound all that safe if I’m honest, and the path obviously isn’t

It’s not supposed to be safe—it’s supposed to be accessible, technically, but dangerous. I don’t want any sensible guests visiting my castle at all.

…actually, if I install a very low, 2-inch barrier on either side of the path to keep wheelchairs from sliding off, it would become safer to traverse in a wheelchair than on foot. Very tempting.

I support these shenanigans. But consider. How do YOU get to your estate?

When I am hungry, I fly.

When I have recently fed, I am perfectly round, and I simply roll my wondrously spherical body up and down my horrible castle path.

Wait but what if you have a guest coming who can also fly?