Silver Tongue

dykeceratops:

twerkyvulture:

twerkyvulture:

dykeceratops:

my wife is constantly mocking me for how lightly done I like my toast. “your hot bread is done,” she says to me. disgusting

i don’t say that. “hot” would imply it’s been in the toaster for more than fifteen seconds lol

“your lightly warmed bread is done” i tell u

one of these days i’m not even gonna put it in the toaster, just gonna breathe real hard on the bread for a minute and you’ll be like “wow this is perfectly done”

“thank you so much for warming up my bread for me honey, I’m so glad we’re married, I love you” I say to you every time your mean little ass makes toast for me

  1. imperiumwifestrikesagain reblogged this from imperiumwifestrikesagain
  2. mellowmelancholia reblogged this from godshonest
  3. mr-tortel reblogged this from meh-66
  4. meh-66 reblogged this from platinumsupa
  5. ljisa-moige reblogged this from aquacycle
  6. sniper-vs-spy reblogged this from platinumsupa
  7. genericwittyurl reblogged this from platinumsupa
  8. samambaiababaia reblogged this from aquacycle
  9. ohgodhowdoicomputer reblogged this from aquacycle
  10. aquacycle reblogged this from platinumsupa
  11. platinumsupa reblogged this from excusemethatsnotcanon
  12. excusemethatsnotcanon reblogged this from sappho114
  13. ever-felt-the-sky reblogged this from barian-booty
  14. imaghosttown reblogged this from bughusbands
  15. pinkdaze reblogged this from factory-made-ass
  16. clobbopus reblogged this from bughusbands
  17. amondrask reblogged this from bughusbands
  18. factory-made-ass reblogged this from bughusbands
  19. bughusbands reblogged this from sappho114
  20. butch-king-frankenstein posted this