Evidence:

Suspect 1: John (dog)

Evidence: is dog, can chew

Counter evidence: Has never yet demonstrated that he knows what toys or chewing is

Suspect 2: Cal (grey cat)

Evidence: Entitled lazy asshole, gives no shits

Counter evidence: Entitled lazy asshole, gives no shits

Suspect 3: Davesprite (orange cat)

Evidence: Is predator, can kill, will kill

Counter evidence: Is cat, can’t chew, can’t kill?

A new suspect enters the fray: Roomba

!!!

The roomba and John are in the closet together

I sense cahoots