marauders4evr:

So imagine you’re a gay top, right, and you’re out on a date with your partner, just having a fun time, and you’re about to head home, when you spot this kid passed out on the streets, your partner wants to help him, but you’re obviously a little worried that you could face severe repercussions if you help this random kid, then you realize that he could be a potential ally, so the two of you drag him out of the streets and into a safe space, and when he wakes up, he confesses that he’s homeless, so you and your partner go through the process of adopting him, you two take him home, you two give him a good meal, you two start to teach him some philosophies in life, he slowly grows up, you two help him through his bad dreams, you two help him through his bad memories, you two play games with him, he completely roasts you at an eating contest, he’s extremely active, you’re always on the move, you’re walking everywhere, like literally walking all the time, like so much walking, and you’re there for him and then all of a sudden, his childhood friend shows up on your doorstep and is like, “Your adopted son is really the king.” and then he falls in love with a woman in like 2.55 minutes which is definitely not something you two taught him how to do, so you’re confused, and the weather gets really weird, and you’re even more confused and in the end, all you really want to know is WHO’S THE MONKEY and by the time you’re dressing in drag and doing the hula, you’ve realized that maybe it’s better if you just don’t worry about it…