Give me a twilight au where Bella doesn’t believe in the supernatural. She’s trying to figure out what’s wrong with Eddie boi and he finally says “I’m a vampire” and she’s like “oh yeah right *count Dracula voice* do you vant to suck my blood?” And it’s infuriating for Edward because she comes up with mundane reasons for everything and he spends the rest of the book trying to prove to her he’s a vampire