majorlykira:

godsrev0lver:

ichaserabbits:

the-venereal-bede:

bondsmagii:

kaelio:

kaelio:

kaelio:

I assumed everyone knew this, but

candy desk . yeah I know you’re like “it would be stupid in a tv show if a senator famous for being a libertarian idiot whose ribs got broken in a fistfight over yard waste was infected with a virus from a one-in-a-century pandemic and continued to rifle around in the senate republican’s candy pile”. well sorry Sorkin but this is the real world and that’s just how it is

oh yeah because I forgot to mention, it was Rand Paul because of fucking course it was

also in case you didn’t know this, the US Capitol also has its own little rinky dink subway system that only they can use at it looks like this

and it looked like this in 1912 because yep it’s been there that whole time

willy wonka’s chocolate factory

article tells me there are, in fact, separate candy desks for republican and democrat senators. the republican candy desk, which is the better-known one, is operated by a singular sugar daddy, while democrats can contribute to a candy fund in order to partake of their side’s hoard

@ us senate yall really run a country like this????

Jesus Christ if you read it in a book you’d say it was too on the nose. What the fuck.

Republicans make confectioners donate all their candy to them while the democrats pitch in to pay for the candy are you fucking kidding me…I had to read the article myself and it’s somehow worse than I thought

in times like these people say things like “we need to throw it all out and start over” which is absolutely true but we also need to divest of all this whimsical shit in its entirety. if I saw, with my eyeballs, a congressperson like, vote against raising minimum wage or whatever and then take a handful of literal candy from a communal candy desk and then hop on the Magical Senator Train to Clown Town I would be in prison for murder.