frankly-ludicrous

Villain: Dude, what about Frank?!

Hero: … who?

Villain: Frank! Franklin Jones! Wears my henchmen’s uniform, had the key to my door, GOT MURDERED BY SOME ASSHOLE TWO WEEKS BEFORE HIS KID’S BALLET RECITAL?!

Hero: … you know your henchmen’s names?

Villlain: OF COURSE I DO! I SEE THESE PEOPLE EVERY DAY! THEY’RE MY FRIENDS! What, you thought I just went to the fucking minion store and bought three hundred assistants?! People don’t work for evil overlords unless they really like the evil overlord!

Hero: Well, I mean, I though henchmen were just kinda… there?

Villain: … you thought Frank. Whom I entrusted with the key to my personal chamber. Who I named the godfather of my children. Was just. There.

Hero: YOU HAVE KIDS?!

Villain: HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW THAT?! WE’VE BEEEN NEMESI FOR DECADES!

Hero: WHY WOULD I KNOW THAT? YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE I WANT DEAD!

Villain: HOW AM I THE VILLAIN HERE?!

noctumsolis