justnevilledup:

joshsundquist:

Bedroom-mirror “standup” about that time my health insurance company thought I had a weight problem

“My health insurance company recently sent a nurse to my apartment to examine me, because according to their computer system, my body weight is very low for my height. Yeah, like, so dangerously low that they’re like, ‘We gotta send a nurse to this guy’s apartment.’ So she shows up at my door and she has a printout from the computer, and that says I am ‘potentially malnurished.’ And she’s like, ‘Do you think that you’re getting enough calories every day?’ I’m like, look, I know that I’m pretty skinny, but now that you’re standing here in my kitchen I think we can agree that there’s… a better… explanation… about this low weight to height ratio. Uh, but she has to interview me about my health history, and so I just tell her, okay, I had cancer 20 years ago, and she’s like, ‘Have you had any recent operations?’ I’m like, I’ve had two knee surgeries. And she’s like ‘Okay, uh, on which knee?’ …What? [Stammers] I’ll give you one guess.”