Silver Tongue

official-mugi:

avagantamosthebox:

cryptidious:

Cr1tikal does not sound like a real person

  • He has three world records related to sex toys and a sword made out of a fleshlight
  • Hes freakishly good at chess and beat world champions at it
  • He looks like keanu reeves lived on a deserted island for a year and hes ripped as fuck
  • He gets invited onto projects and given shit like the sword by people just because hes cool and likes their shit
  • He watched a movie called Killer Bean, BY THE GUY WHO WORKED ON THE MATRIX AND DID THE FIGHT SCENE CHOREO, and got invited to be in the next movie in the series
  • Hes somehow extremely vulgar and entirely unproblematic
  • Every sentence he says is a trip and a half
  • He has a huge following but his fanbase is so quiet hes hardly talked about
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  18. cryptidious posted this
    Cr1tikal does not sound like a real person...He has three world records related to sex...