Cr1tikal does not sound like a real person

• He has three world records related to sex toys and a sword made out of a fleshlight
• Hes freakishly good at chess and beat world champions at it
• He looks like keanu reeves lived on a deserted island for a year and hes ripped as fuck
• He gets invited onto projects and given shit like the sword by people just because hes cool and likes their shit
• He watched a movie called Killer Bean, BY THE GUY WHO WORKED ON THE MATRIX AND DID THE FIGHT SCENE CHOREO, and got invited to be in the next movie in the series
• Hes somehow extremely vulgar and entirely unproblematic
• Every sentence he says is a trip and a half
• He has a huge following but his fanbase is so quiet hes hardly talked about