Silver Tongue

tiinykaiju:

glumshoe:

glumshoe:

raccoons make no sense because they will leave your birdseed and garbage and garden and compost pile alone but they WILL open a barrel and pull out an empty 5 gallon gas canister and unscrew the lid and leave it in your yard and also untie the dog tether from your porch beam for no reason

one time I watched a raccoon pull up plastic tent stakes at a campground and just walk away, content with causing mischief

another time at camp I woke up to find a raccoon had grabbed the yarn that connected the string telephones my neighbor and I had strung up between our cabin windows and was just yanking on it… I grabbed one end and ended up in a tug-of-war over the string phone while this beefy raccoon pulled and pulled, hand over hand, making direct eye contact with me

and sometimes they’d sneak into cabins and just…. touch people while they slept

why!!! who said you could act like this!!!

I went camping once, and we left some food on a table for like…a minute. We weren’t even that far away from the table.

Somehow, without any of the five people within fifteen feet NOTICING, a raccoon had hopped up on the table, gotten into the bag of apricots, and taken a single bite out of each individual apricot.

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