draconym:

imalwaysaslutforthevoid:

monstersandmaw:

draconym:

draconym:

lemon-bastard-deactivated202110:

draconym:

draconym:

Found a dozen eggs in the middle of the woods. Still cold even though it’s a hundred degrees outside. Is this a faerie trick?

My coworkers to me this morning: Oh, glad to see you’re still alive!

Me: After getting stung by wasps?

Them: No, after eating Bush Eggs.

excuse me tumblr user Draconym? you belong to the Fae now

I didn’t eat all twelve eggs because I gave one to my bird; surely that should protect me at least somewhat from being bound by the Fairy Queen?

Everyone’s supportive when life gives you lemons but then as soon as the forest starts handing out eggs everybody’s a critic

I laughed so hard at this. The Fae are probably just standing there with their mouths open and the sheer and beautiful audacity of you feeding their ‘gift’ failed trap to your beautiful birb.

i’d say that since op only ate 11/12 they belong to the fae 11 months of the year, the other month is when they get op’s bird

I give it a week before the fae send him back