Silver Tongue

variantworks:

I’ve seen people argue that BDSM & kink is bad because of aftercare. “You don’t NEED aftercare or safewords for vanilla sex, because it’s not harmful!”

Uh, hate to tell you but aftercare and safewords do exist for vanilla sex. It’s getting your partner a glass of water after. It’s cuddling and compliments. It’s asking if they’re feeling good during. It’s words like stop, no, easy. It’s asking if there’s anything to make it better next time.

If you really don’t practice communicating and aftercare with your partner regardless of how vanilla it is or not, you’re just not a good partner.

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    As a grey ace who has never had any kind of sex, all this kind of discourse does is make me go “so BDSM people will pay...
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