trashcanofobsessions:

dishesoap:

remember when magnus fuckign,,, swallowed one of the most dangerous and powerful objects in the omniverse - even after griffin was like ‘yes no see you cant digest it its a magic goddamb rock’ and magnus still fucking wrapped it in a pastry crust glove and ate it for no goddamn reason there was literally no reason.

and then. and then to fucking get it out. because it needed to be fucking destroyed because it was one of the mOST FUCKING DANGEROUS OBJECTS IN THE GODDAMN OMNIVERse. and because griffin said they had to avoid ‘a shitting based solution’:

taako turned magnus to fucking stone, and merle cast stone shape on fucking stone magnus and turned his lower fucking half into a fucking swirly chute slide so the philosophers stone fucking rolled down out of magnus’ goddamn fucking stomach and then the mcelroys referred to it as chutes and ladders anyway i want to die sometimes i think about how beautiful and intricate the balance story is and then i remember this and upsy your lifting friend and f u c k

oh also the philosophers stone sounded like joe pesci and both it and the sentient gooey flesh elevator were into vore

OH NO

“Guys… DND is fucking WEIRD”