no smart appliances in this house. absolute fucking moron appliances only. my toaster is there to make bread hot not to tweet what time I ate breakfast or whatever the fuck
don't need my goddamn microwave to snitch to the nsa
if i am somehow forced to own a smart appliance (likely due to lack of availability) i will figure out how to take the computer out and make it dumb
lobotomize your coffeemaker
this is how we make artificial stupid