Silver Tongue

malus-syl-vestris:

madqueensarah:

I don’t understand how on TV, people can break into homes and immediately find bank statements, passports and super important documents. If someone tried that at my place it would be “I’m sure she keeps her important stuff in her desk. No, wait, this draw is full of pens that don’t work. Aha! This box looks important! Oh, never mind. It’s full of cigarette lighters. She doesn’t even smoke!”

*I* can’t even find my own important documents in my own home half the time. If someone breaks in and instantly finds my stuff they’re hired

Thief: okay I found them… they were in the fridge next to the ketchup

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