autisticexpression:

roswell-newton-vargas:

When they first started dating, my best friend’s boyfriend was like, “I just kinda feel like you two are uncomfortably close sometimes. All of my friends agree that it’s really weird, and I think we need to establish some boundaries.”

And I sat him down and gave him this huge speech, like, “Listen, the ability to maintain intimate, long-lasting friendships is a sign that your partner is well-adjusted! It’s a little worrying that you’re feeling insecure about your partner having a healthy, normal friendship.”

Only for her to walk in two seconds later and say, “This drink is disgusting, you have to try it,” and, instead of offering me a sip, take a huge swig and spit it directly into my mouth from like three feet away.

There’s just so much going on here but I want to focus on the fact that this apparently happens so often that you saw her take a swig and instinctively opened your mouth for her to spit in it.

Who are you, OP? What is your life?