ryncoon:

appendingfic:

“Ten-year-olds are the most frightening people on the planet. I think we all remember being ten, where making eye contact during recess meant you were going to have a Pokemon battle, and the winner got to keep the loser’s lunch money.

“But as an adult, seeing the kids who are off on their Pokemon journeys, swaggering along, ready to fight anybody and everybody they meet, up to and including God, it really hits you. These children will fight you, and when they win, your best bet is to just throw twenty dollars on the ground and flee in the other direction.

“The worst ones are the ones with six Pokeballs on their belt. You’re like, I possess one elderly Snubbull, and for all I know, you’ve got a Rayquaza in one of those balls. 

“And sometimes, you hear stories. Like, ‘a ten-year-old boy dismantled Team Rocket’. Or ‘a ten-year-old girl dismantled two terrorist organizations and then tamed the primal manifestations of earth and sea’. I think you could tell me a ten-year-old did anything, and I wouldn’t question it. 

“To be honest, I think the Pokemon Leagues are just there to keep those kids occupied so they don’t just take over.”

So this is the material John Mulaney performs in the pokemon world