normal-horoscopes:

ruby-white-rabbit:

mikkeneko:

oldsongrenewed:

forgotaboutdrea:

rnyfh:

in this house we stan dionysus!

#Hermes: he’s dead Dionysus you don’t actually have to do this #Dionysus [polishing his giant wooden dildo]: I made a PROMISE (x)

This is the also the myth of the creation of the dildo. And in some versions of the myth, Prosymnus’ soul was so overjoyed, that he was transferred to Elysium. That’s right, Dionysus rode Prosymnus’ pseudo-dick so good that he was moved to the Blessed AfterlifeTM

dionysus: can’t believe prosymnus died before I could keep my promise to let him bone me
the nymphs: you don’t have to, you know
dionysus, oiling up the world’s first dildo: no I’m gonna

Prosymnus’ soul literally ascended

Dionysus: What do you desire as payment brave psychopomp? I will give anything in my power as a god. How about a lyre that plays itself? Or a font of endless wine?

Prosymnus, who has been sweating with barely contained horny for the entire boat ride: