glumshoe:

reallya-martian-potato:

glumshoe:

reblogging-dragon:

glumshoe:

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy.

I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.

Showed my Geologist dad a picture of the obsidian knife you had and he nearly said this exact thing word for word. I can’t believe my own father would fall prey to this. Clearly you know thine enemy

I work too closely with geologists not to have a contingency plan for eliminating them.

You have no contingency for geologists who know how to fight

All geologists know how to fight. They’re all buff and incredibly sexy from hiking and picking up big heavy rocks. That’s why my strategy to defeat them lies in trickery and deception and using their own fatal flaws against them. The obsidian knife is merely a lure to get them close to me… “check out cool rock” range is out of knife-range but within baseball bat range.

I haven’t published all my strategies, either. None of them involve actual combat on equal footing.