Silver Tongue

rannulfr:

tiger-in-the-flightdeck:

intosnarkness:

intosnarkness:

intosnarkness:

Jurassic Park except they provide proper enrichment for the animals and they therefor don’t feel the need to hunt slow, small humans.

“We stuffed this pumpkin full of live goats for the T. rex watch him try to get them out with his little fingers.”

“Turns out the raptors are cage breakers, so we’ve gotten them a series of door handles to manipulate. Little guys just love it.”

“The Rexes are incredibly affectionate pack animals, so we were careful to breed multiples. Be sure to come during spring time to watch them go broody over anything even vaguely egg-shaped.”
“We put the Raptors through target training and now if they are bored, hungry, or just want a scratch under the chin they go to spot near the bars and ring a little bell for attention.”
“Imprinting after hatching was so common that we now have keepers under contract to care for the animals well into adulthood to prevent them from pining.”
“The Gallimimus turned out to be just giant Canada Geese, and so fear nothing. Their keeper regularly has to stop them from trying to attack fences, guests, feeding buckets, and the now traumatised pack of Ceratosaurs in the next paddock.”

“We also fired Dr. Henry Wu.”

okay but abotu the gallimimus being a giant goose, that is absotutely something to be scared of.

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    Jurassic Park except they provide proper enrichment for the animals and they therefor don’t feel the need to hunt slow,...