Perry the platypus is my enemy. But I’m not like, evil, or something, he just keeps breaking through my window to stop me from doing ordinary things like washing the dishes or making the bed and everyone keeps calling me out for procrastinating and I always cry at them that, “It’s Perry, the platypus!” Nobody believes me. “Stop making excuses, it’s just a regular platypus.” I look behind me and Perry has taken off his hat and does that weird purring noise.