one time i said to my friend “vitamins are fake” and what i meant was “i am dubious about the efficacy and health benefits of over the counter multivitamins” and what she heard was “i do not believe in the existence of vitamins in our food or in the world in general” 

and she nodded very seriously and said “why do you think that?” and halfway through my rant about how necessary is it, really, for something to contain 3000% of your daily requirement she went “oh, good, okay” 

and like, shout out to her, because if one of my friends had told me they thought that calcium was a government conspiracy i would have started roasting them immediately no questions asked