… can i use that phrase irl?

Absolutely you can and I encourage more uses of similar phrases that just completely fuck up the chronology of the english langauge. I wanna hear 15th century english mixed with surfer speak mixed with current age internet lingo like all the time.

Like this? Well my dude, seems like a weasel hath not such a deal of splean as you’re toss’d with. Chill already, you’re not valid.

You are an unrighteous, bastardly gullion. Heaven truly knows that thou art false as hell. When you die, I will face God and walk backwards into hell just so that I can beat your ass in the afterlife too.

I love the idea of a vampire who’s language travels back in time as they get pissed.

I grieve for thee in these trying times. Alexa play Despacito

Reading these is like literary whiplash

This whole post is gold, but the comment about the vampire’s dialect “devolving” into older and older periods when he’s angry stood out to me.

It’s a cinematic cliché for a person of any foreign nationality to revert to their native language when angry (I usually see it with Spanish-speaking characters), and my southern accent deepens as I get angrier.

It makes sense that an immortal character who saw the eras of his language change and evolve over time would speak more and more archaically as he got angrier.

Historical linguists decide to get especially ancient vampires pissed off in order to study ancient languages

are you telling me that if I get a 5000yo vampire angry enough I can directly test the glottalic theory?

*Pisses off a vampire so much that they teach me Minoan*

@deadcatwithaflamethrower because a. languages! and b. this made me think of Nizar whose vocal patterns shift all the time depending on his mood/the conversation/how pissed off he is with someone/something!

Also reblogging for the update of *Pisses off a vampire so much that they teach me Minoan*

“Once you’ve got your teeth out of my neck, could you demonstrate what Linear B sounds like…?”