Silver Tongue

fandomsandfeminism:

kineticpenguin:

thyrell:

“ooh you hate cops but who are you gonna call when you get robbed?” uhhhhh your moms house? a great tragedy has befallen me and i need to have sex immediately

Every time someone’s like “who are you gonna call when you get robbed?”

1. Know how I know you’ve never been robbed?

2. I am going to call my insurance company and file a claim, the only usefulness a cop has at this point is generating a report number for said insurance company to refer to

3. Seriously all a cop’s gonna do after establishing that the robber/burglar/whoever isn’t there anymore is say “what do you want me to do about it?” and leave

Also:

So, ya know.

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    In my city, if I were to get robbed, I'd call my landlord first. Why? Because in my city, the mafia owns a huge chunk of...
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  27. thyrell posted this
    "ooh you hate cops but who are you gonna call when you get robbed?" uhhhhh your moms house? a great tragedy has befallen...