datamogging:

datamogging:

“Data, in your interactions with 21st century internet culture, have you discovered a way to improve the warp drive?”

“I have, sir. It involves synthesizing a new form of dilithium crystals into a new lattice structure. However, it will require the aid of an individual from that period whose history and research procedures may be considered ‘unorthodox’ by Starfleet standards.”

“How 'unorthodox’ exactly, data?”

“…So let me get this straight. After all of the manipulation, back-stabbing, and other horrible things you’ve accused me of over these past few months, you just think you can waltz on back here and ask for my help?”

“Mr. White, you said it yourself when we first met. 'We need to cook…’”

“…bitch.”

Jesse…how did you become so knowledgeable about developing crystal meth? The lattice structure must be hundreds of times denser than anything I’ve ever seen us make before. We’re getting to levels of supersaturation that I didn’t think were theoretically possible.

That is an astute observation, Mr. White. In actuality, the crystal lattice grows on the basis of a Dilithium framework, a sub-element of Lithium. This allows the amphetamine to become supersaturated on a scale of several orders of magnitude, usually ranging between 10^22 to 10^26 concentrations.

What… what the fuck are you talking about, Jesse? Dilithium crystal lattices? Supersaturation calculations?… you’re not Jesse, are you? What have you done with my partner?

You are correct, Mr. White. The truth is that this is all an illusion. You and everyone you know have been dead for over three hundred years. Given your understanding of methamphetamine compounds and their effects, we have recreated you in a holographic chamber to utilize your expertise in developing new crystal variants to power our starship’s engines. In your era’s nomenclature, dilithiun crystals are a crank so potent that it literally distorts space-time to make faster than light travel possible.

So what you’re saying is, you resurrected me in the 24th century… to manufacture super meth… that your ship runs on…? That after being dead for centuries, my only reason for existing is to make “space crank?!”

…that is correct.