afallenwolf:

prokopetz:

digitaldiscipline:

9ofspades:

raptorkin:

cheeseanonioncrisps:

fadedsepia:

tygermama:

star-anise:

lemonsharks:

star-anise:

deathtokillian:

wellusetheshadowstoouradvantage:

uh… Thor?

Some people will have no fucking idea how funny this is if they haven’t heard the story.

It is a LITERAL thousand-year-old myth that once, when a giant stole Mjolnir to force Freya to marry him, Thor somewhat successfully impersonated the goddess of love and beauty (with Loki as his lovely handmaiden full of excuses as to why she ate an entire ox at dinner) and participated in a fake wedding to get it back.

Please observe Freya’s chariot cats supervising the whole thing going “Gods are so dumb this will never work.”

Look at Loki helping in this version–he looks so excited!

Hemsworth and Hiddleston would have been so down to portray this

We were robbed of this scene and I feel it in my blood.

The best thing about this story is that Thor really doesn’t try, at all.

Like he puts on the dress, he keeps his mouth shut, but that is where his contributions to keeping up this ruse end.

Loki is the one who has to come up with an explanation for why the blushing bride has just finished off half the banqueting table and washed it down with four full barrels of mead (“Freyja was so excited for the ceremony, she hasn’t eaten in a week!”) and, when the groom takes a peek under the veil, why she’s glaring at him with such clear murder in her eyes (“she’s er… tired. Like super super tired. Hasn’t slept in a week.”).

Thor barely restrains himself from slaughtering everyone in the room until his hammer comes out, and then he grabs it and uses it to slaughter everyone in the room.

Depending on how you read the scene he’s either genuinely unaware of how women are meant to act (or potentially too Masculine to restrain himself) or he’s just so full of contempt for Loki’s plan that he refuses to put in more than the very bare minimum.

Or Freyja is Just Like That and Thor thinks he is doing a particularly good job impersonating her - she is a war goddess after all.

Reblogging for that last addition - I’d never thought of that but now that you mention it I wholeheartedly believe it. 

Especially after Thor and Loki proposed that she just marry the giant, she apparently flipped out at them and they immediately had to back off like “okay nope plan B!” 

Thor is probably patting himself on the back for portraying Freya’s normal expression so accurately. 

In case anyone was wondering why this seems familiar…. Geralt and Jaskier in The Witcher episode 4, “Of Banquets, Bastards and Burials.”

Regarding the comment upthread re: Hemsworth and Hiddleston, I feel it’s important to bear in mind that in most versions of the story, it isn’t Loki who comes up with the plan in the first place: it’s Heimdall.

So in the hypothetical MCU version of this scenario, you need to picture Idris Elba proposing this unhinged scheme with a perfectly straight face.

“We will put Thor and Loki in a dress.” 

“Hmmm.” 

“You mean like for fun cause….I might have a few.”

“What?” 

“And Thor will wed Þrymr the giant.”

“Wha?”

this is probably the story that loki told jeff goldbloom to get on his goodside