one thing that NEVER fails to crack me up about the lightning thief is how everyone is like oh haha percy is so SLOW on the uptake, but it’s ABSOLUTELY not his fault nobody explains SHIT to him lol
percy: hi mr brunner
chiron: oh that’s not my name actually
percy: um okay. does mr d stand for something?
dionysus: names are powerful things. you don’t just go around using them for no reason.
percy: can someone tell me what the hell is going on
chiron: did ur mom not tell u anything?
percy’s mom: *is now dead, had been keeping secrets because it was dangerous to tell him which chiron should KNOW because HE DID THE SAME THING
*percy sees the oracle* what’s up there?
chiron: not a single living thing
luke: you’ll be in cabin eleven until you get claimed.
percy: how long will that take?
*nobody answers*
and the ALL TIME WINNER:
annabeth: Monsters don’t die, Percy. They can be killed. But they don’t die.
percy thru the entire first half of the lightning thief: