valarhalla:

valarhalla:

Look, I wasn’t in charge of writing the script for The Mummy (1999), and I’m not saying I could do better, but if I hypothetically had been, there would definitely have been a seen that went like this:

Evie, tied up and about to be sacrificed by demons: “RICK, YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO READ THE INSCRIPTION. I NEED YOU TO FIND THE SIGN THAT SAYS  “DBT”.”

RICK: WHICH ONE IS “DBT”

EVIE: IT’S THE CRESTED HOOPOE SIGN

RICK: HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHICH ONE THE CRESTED HOOPOE IS

EVIE: IT LOOKS LIKE THE LAPWING ONLY THE LAPWING’S HEAD IS POINTIER THAN THE CRESTED HOOPOE’S. I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU’D REVISED THIS?

RICK: NOT IN THAT KIND OF DETAIL. I IGNORED THE BIRDS

EVIE: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU “ IGNORED THE BIRDS”

*Demons start chanting

EVIE: WELL YOU’RE JUST GOING TO HAVE TO HURRY UP RICK. IS THERE A SIGN THAT LOOKS LIKE THE LAPWING BUT WITH A POINTIER HEAD

RICK: THERE’S ONE HERE THAT LOOKS LIKE A VULTURE BUT WITH LONGER LEGS AND A POINTY HEAD?

EVIE: ALL THE VULTURES HAVE POINTY HEADS RICK

RICK: YEAH BUT THIS ONE’S POINTIER

EVIE: THAT’S NOT A VULTURE, THAT’S AN OSTRICH

FTR: