ceasarslegion:

ceasarslegion:

Speaking of how i used to work for CNN does anyone wanna hear about how fucking wild my job interview for that was because it still haunts my dreams sometimes

Alright lets go

Considering that CNN anchors are pretty public eye in the interest of confidentiality im not gonna reveal what desk this was at, who i used to work under, etc. This was a year before corona hit, so I figure it’s been long enough that i can tell this

So I was fully applying for a job I wasn’t entirely qualified for. I had tons of field journalism and editorial experience, but that was in media journalism. I wasn’t expecting to get a call back, so of course I went and presented my best self. I was expecting this interview to happen in like, a private office. I got up to their floor, shook hands with my interviewer, and he deadass just… stood in the hallway with me while writers and tech people were running by and did it there.

I handed him my CV, he looked at it for all of 2 seconds before he said “this is a nice layout,” and folded it into his pocket to never look at again. He doesn’t bring up my experience, or my references, skills, education, anything. He just starts firing off riddles at me

I swear to god, he doesn’t miss a beat. He just goes from complimenting my CV’s look and then says “what’s the world’s largest desert?”

I ask “hot or cold?”

He says “either”

I say “then Antarctica.” I have no idea what the fuck is happening, but this might as well happen. My life is already so goddamn weird.

“But there’s ice everywhere.”

“Doesn’t mean the water is accessible.”

He nods and says “clever. Not a lot of people get that on the first try.”

And the entire interview is just trick questions and riddles of increasing difficulty thrown at me in a hallway. He starts leading me around the office at one point while he keeps playing Riddler to my Batman. He never once looks at my qualifications, I assume he’s done that in my online application. But he doesn’t question me about my work experience or what i can bring to the table, he just keeps asking me shit about hypothetical games of russian roulette and what I would do in the trolley problem. I am in professional business attire, he is wearing jeans, a graphic shirt, and a manchester united football club snapback.

I answer his riddles, he bids me farewell with a smile and a well-natured clap between my shoulder blades that’s hard enough to knock my glasses down to the tip of my nose once i turn around. All I get is a “you’re impressive, kid,” on my way out. I am confused as all fuck as I step back outside and hail a taxi, and spend the entire drive home in silence wondering what in the fresh hell that was.

I get the job.

I wonder if I met life’s main character.