folks: I have a problem

US gov’t: hmmm… that’s not good. You should stop having that problem.

folks: I mean I’d like to, but I could use some help.

US gov’t: Hmmmm. What if we make the problem illegal?

folks: Well, that’s –

US gov’t: The problem is illegal! Stop having it!

folks: I’d really like to but –

US gov’t: WHY ARE YOU DOING A CRIME

The above deserves to be inscribed on gold tablets