Silver Tongue

random-ferret:

Doing a 100% run in Skyrim is hilarious. I’m a vampire, a werewolf, a cannibal and a vampire hunter. I work for the empire and the rebellion. I just became archmage of the college I enrolled in two days ago. I’m the leader of the Blades, the Companions, the Thieves Guild and the Dark Brotherhood of Assassins. Yesterday I cut a ghost’s head off and it died.

I’m Thane of every hold in Skyrim, but all the Jarls hate my guts. They call me a miserable wretch and then offer me the nicest house in the city. I personally assassinated the Emperor, brought him back as a zombie and successfully negotiated a peace treaty with his generals while he wandered around the room snarling and moaning. I’ve gotten married to every single eligible bachelor and bachelorette in the country and they keep saying yes even though my previous spouses all died mysteriously while getting hit in the head with my enchanted war hammer. I’m pretty sure my horse is a daedra.

Everybody says the elder scrolls are powerful artifacts from before the dawn of time that have been lost to history, but I have two of them in my backpack next to my collection of severed witch heads and a couple of pies. The pies are a treat for my adopted children whom I love with all my heart, I haven’t seen them in a while because I forgot which of my mansions I left them in. I have pledged my immortal soul to five different daedric princes.

I’m a serial killer. I’m a legendary hero. I’m an abomination in the eyes of gods, men and mer. I’m a delivery boy.

I am Dragonborn.

Dragonborns themesong

  1. depresseddovahkiin reblogged this from random-ferret
  2. schlampermaeppchen reblogged this from arsonwithgojo and added:
    Friendly reminder you don't have to be a vampire, cannibal or murderer for a 100% Skyrim run. You can also just say no...
  3. ostrich-recs reblogged this from arnim
  4. arnim reblogged this from coyote-prophet
  5. scyllamoonlight reblogged this from random-ferret
  6. graves820 reblogged this from random-ferret
  7. no-qu reblogged this from random-ferret
  8. teamrocketsfatknockers reblogged this from pocket-sized-dr-dana-scully
  9. violet-rose-95 reblogged this from pocket-sized-dr-dana-scully
  10. sentient-acid reblogged this from pocket-sized-dr-dana-scully
  11. simplefightinglesbian reblogged this from random-ferret
  12. the-prophet-speaks reblogged this from random-ferret
  13. waywardbagel reblogged this from random-ferret
  14. werewolf4vampire reblogged this from random-ferret
  15. kimmykoosh reblogged this from hauntedhamster
  16. nevah-not-reblaggl reblogged this from random-ferret
  17. random-ferret posted this
    Doing a 100% run in Skyrim is hilarious. I'm a vampire, a werewolf, a cannibal and a vampire hunter. I work for the...