alphacrone:

alphacrone:

gonna quit my job and move to some random town and open up an ice cream parlor called I SCREAM and it’s only open from dusk til dawn and the flavors are all spooky names like MONSTER MASH MANGO and BLOODY ORANGE and ROTTING CORPSES & CREAM and EXISTENTIAL DREAD and i’ll only be seen at night except for occasional daytime appearances where i wear dark sunglasses and long flowing coats and people will ask me what my favorite flavor is and i’ll say “oh no, i don’t actually partake in…eating…” and they’ll all think i’m a vampire but i’m really just lactose intolerant.

#this sounds like the plot of a bailey school kidss book#“vampires dont serve ice scream” (via @modern-alebrije )

literally all i want in life is for children to accuse me of being a paranormal creature