ganymedesclock:

Okay the human fruit-identifying schema that makes us want to shove brightly colored and/or shiny objects into our mouth is hilarious and all but now I want to say consider the possibility of aliens with other dietary needs who don’t get this reflex but not because they don’t have it but because they have this impulse towards different things, so like, two bored coworkers walking around together, one of them points towards a shiny wall lamp,

“is this fruit gummy?”

“-nah, I mean. maybe? maybe if it was clean? it’s not doing it for me.”

“alright I think I’m getting it now.”

the human nods, and points at a bundle of wires, “that’s forbidden lunch though right”

the alien, gravely, “there’s enough voltage in those wires to absolutely kill me and I want to lick it so badly.”

nods. “Forbidden lunch.”

A third coworker who is neither of the first two’s species, “I hate both of you and I hate that you have to have this conversation in the generator.”

pause. “Cranky you can’t eat the uranium rods aren’t you”

“DON’T PULL ME INTO THIS. I PHOTOSYNTHESIZE, LIKE A REASONABLE PERSON.”