maxknightley:

maxknightley:

maxknightley:

I want someone to make a parody Soulslike where the central joke is that the setting is just the real world with more combat

You’ve earned some dollars, have you, worker? Well… before you go spending them all, you should keep in mind. In this world… money and power are one and the same.

(Whenever you rest at a quick-service restaurant, you can spend Dollars to level up, increasing your attributes. The number of Dollars required increases with each level.)

Since making this post I have received so many comments saying “oh like Yakuza” “oh like Scott Pilgrim.” No. Yakuza and Scott Pilgrim are beat-em-ups set in the modern world, with a layer of comedy and exaggeration on top of it. That’s not Souls. The mechanics are somewhat different and the vibes are completely incomparable.

I’m talking about a game where you spawn in with nothing but a t-shirt, some boxer shorts, and a shitty old baseball bat. I’m not talking about a game where you can go to a 7-11, I’m talking about a game where an old woman talks to you for five uninterrupted minutes about the history and mythic importance of 7-11. If I’m not fighting off packs of feral dogs and dodge rolling around an actual M4 Sherman tank I Will Not Buy Your Game. I should be able to leave messages that say “Towers ahead, therefore, be wary of bush” and receive ten thousand appraisals for it