whynotfabulous:

daeynore:

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thegoodsandy:

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babyblueavenger:

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mayflydecember:

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captain-oh-no-not-again:

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treslecheslife:

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trashboi413:

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marten-blackwood:

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gnomer-denois:

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In an effort to avoid supporting megacorporations, I shall now be posing questions directly to tumblr that I would otherwise have googled.

If Mayonnaise is just eggs and oil, why it creamy?

Because it’s also evil

Thanks!

Have scientists figured out what dark matter is yet?

Yup! It’s anything that takes up space, has mass, and is goth.

Wow!

What happens if you eat 23 packages of peeps?

You meet god

Thank goodness!

What’s the correct way to eat a banana?

Whole, in one gulp.

Delicious!

Who is the Muffin Man?

Father of the Muffin Boy

Makes sense!

Why is my car making a ker-klunk noise?

Car’s haunted

Uh Oh

How to fix a haunted car?

Slam into a priest in a crosswalk going at least forty miles an hour

It worked!

Where does the wax in scented candles go?

into the sky, where it turns into stars

Cool!

Why are weddings so damn expensive?

priest has to pay for medical bills related to haunted car crashing into him

….Ah