notajerusalemcricketd-deactivat:

Beginning summary of an Ace Attorney case: The murder took place on a train. Defendant and Victim were alone in one compartment, opposite of another compartment housing Witness 1 and Witness 2. The two witnesses heard signs of a scuffle, and saw Defendant stabbing Victim. After entering Victim’s compartment, they saw Defendant covered in blood over Victim’s dead body

Closing summary of an Ace Attorney case: Witness 2 was faking their testimony because Defendant stole their shoes once 20 years ago, they DIDN’T witness the murder because they were struggling with an ILLEGALLY SMUGGLED CANADIAN GOOSE that Victim had stuffed in their suitcase. The GOOSE had escaped and KNOCKED DEFENDANT OVER. Witness 1 had only seen the SILHOUETTE of the stabbing due to perfectly timed back-to-back lightning flashes, and had mistaken the NECK AND BEAK OF THE GOOSE for Defendant’s arm. The GOOSE was the true culprit. It’s an open and shut case Your Honor.