it might sound obvious, but i had to learn this the hard way: don’t date someone who you feel you can’t 100% be yourself around. maybe you can keep up shutting down 5-90% of yourself but 1) why would you want to 2) why should you have to when there’s countless people out there who would love ALL of who you are
i’m saying this because i dated a guy who said we were being “healthy and open” by saying all our grievances. what that involved was any time i talked about something that i was passionate about he would shut it down with “babe, sorry i just wanna be honest, i don’t care about this at all. sorry. love youuu <3” and i thought that was healthy for whatever reason.
now i’m with a guy who actively encourages me in my interests, even the ones he’s previously uninterested/unfamiliar with. he doesn’t just passively listen but asks questions and joins in with what i’m doing. some people might say this is a low bar to set but i wish someone had told me this when i was younger. pay attention to who’s building you up and who’s tearing you down.
literally 2 minutes after posting this and he proves my point <3
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