zarnzarn:

seph-ic:

!TW: MENTIONS OF ABUSE!

Somthing that I think gets overlooked A LOT Is the fact that Stolas was physically abused by Stella.

Like I haven’t seen ANYONE talk about it but it’s such a huge deal. In s2 ep1 when Stella goes to hit him, the camera focuses on her hand specifically. We see a lot of slapstick comedy in this show, characters getting pushed around and beat up by one another for a joke. But this scene was such an intentional juxtaposition to the other times a character in this show has been hit. There was nothing funny about this scene. No comedic noises or gags to punctuate it. It was serious, and I think it was really meant to highlight that there was not only emotional, but a pattern of physical abuse between them as well. Not just that, but Stolas caught her hand, and told her no. It was a turning point for him when he finally stood up and stopped letting her treat him like that.

As someone who has been physically abused, It was super clear to me right away that we were supposed to take that away from the episode, and I was surprised when I didn’t really see anyone talking about it. The most common type of physical abuse come from momentary frustration, and wanting the other person to just submit. Couple this with Stella’s I’m-better-than-you-and-also-always-right attitude, and I really do think Stolas was in a physically abusive relationship.

YES exactly completely agree there- it’s a HUGE part of the episode that half don’t really seem to realise the significance of. I got that immediately too, that it was actually a huge moment, the point of being pushed to his limits after TWENTY FIVE YEARS of a troubled relationship.

and it is the first time he’s standing back up to her too- you can see it in her surprise and the way he still falters at moments.

(There is a good bunch of those who do, for the record, with a good amount on the topic. not enough though, I agree.)

but I think also what a lot of people are thrown off by is how its not consistent episode to episode.

BUT ITS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE. THATS THE POINT. A MAJORITY OF ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS ARENT CONSISTENT IN THE ABUSE.

a Lot of abusive relationships are actually just drawn out emotionally draining fights, sneered insults, small ways in which the abuser makes their life harder- and then once in a while, a beating. it’s the victim going “I can take it” until they can’t and have to push back (which Stolas did successfully!!! I’m so fucking proud of him!!!! get that bitch out of your house!!!!!!)

and it definitely was intentional too, you’re right. it’s something they might delve into later or this might be the only time they mention it- but regardless, it was an important moment since the reveal of it plays a huge role in shaping Stolas’ personality/background and therefore the story.

it’s excellent representation too man. I cried happy tears when he stood up to her cause ik immediately what that meant. it’s beyond insane that a male character with a story like this is on screen. hope more people see that too tbh.