I don’t understand how on TV, people can break into homes and immediately find bank statements, passports and super important documents. If someone tried that at my place it would be “I’m sure she keeps her important stuff in her desk. No, wait, this draw is full of pens that don’t work. Aha! This box looks important! Oh, never mind. It’s full of cigarette lighters. She doesn’t even smoke!”
*I* can’t even find my own important documents in my own home half the time. If someone breaks in and instantly finds my stuff they’re hired
Robber, standing in the middle of the room: Now, if I were an anxious, possibly undiagnosed ADHD, bisexual disaster with a really bad memory, where would I put the documents?
Client: OK, this is the target. The back door will be unlocked. The place is a mess, the person there has ADHD off the walls. Find these documents and bring them to me.
Professional Thief: Right. What do I do if they come home and find me there, how you want me to handle that?
Client: Nah, won’t happen. I’m gonna sit at the coffeeshop until you call me, I won’t be home.
Professional: What?
Client: What?